


Sloth Babies

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [188]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, M/M, Michael's sloth babies, Sloth babies, sloths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6195013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dean and Castiel don't appreciate waking up to Michael's sloth babies crawling about on their bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sloth Babies

Dean opens his eyes to find a family of sloths slowly making their sloth-like way across the bedspread, crawling over him and Castiel in the process. A very frilly-looking Michael is fluttering to and fro across the room, dress bouncing as he hops around some invisible obstacle course laid out on their bedroom floor. Lucifer and Gabriel are watching from the doorway and muttering something in Enochian that Dean can’t quite make out despite his numerous attempts to learn the language over the past year.

 

“Michael,” Dean says in what he thinks is an admirably calm voice considering that fact that there are two, four, five... Yep, five sloths still inching their way across his bed.

 

“Good morning, Dean,” Michael replies brightly, pausing in his hopping to give both him and Cas a winning smile.

 

“Cas,” Dean tries, hoping to get some answers from his mate.

 

Cas rolls over. “I’m going back to sleep.”

 

He catches some of Gabriel and Lucifer’s conversation. “I bet he’s going to explode,” one of them says.

 

“He’s going to fall in love with one of them and keep it as a pet,” the other replies.

 

“I think one of them is in labor,” Lucifer giggles.

 

Dean groans. “Mika, please tell me why there are _sloths_ on my bed.”

 

Michael resumes his fluttering. “Oh, don’t worry about them, there are more where they came from,” he says in what has to be the single least reassuring statement ever.

 

One of the sloths starts to chew on the bedspread and Dean squeezes his eyes shut, hoping that if he prays hard enough the sloths and Michael and Lucifer and Gabriel will be gone and he’ll be left in peace with his husband. He has no such luck, because the sloths and the archangels are still there when he dares to look again, and Michael has his hands on his hips and is looking like Dean just ran over his dog.

 

“You were _praying_ for my _babies_ to be gone,” Michael accuses.

 

“I was,” Dean confesses, because maybe someone heard his prayers and the sloths will be gone in a few moments.

 

Michael snaps in quick succession, and four more sloths appear on the opposite side of the bed and start inching towards the other five.

 

The sloths start squeaking at each other and Dean can’t help it – he screams like a little girl.

 

Gabriel takes pity on him and suddenly the sloths are gone and Michael is turning towards his brothers with the look that Dean is pretty sure is going to go down in bunker history as the look that started the second Apocalypse.

 

“ _My sloth babies_ ,” Michael wails, and Lucifer steps forward cautiously.

 

“Mika, it’s okay, there’s plenty more where they came from, and we can play with them all you want in another room, okay?” He says reassuringly, and Michael sniffles before falling into his brother’s arms and letting himself be whisked away toward somewhere with more sloth-babies.

 

“Is it over?” Castiel asks haltingly.

 

“I think so,” Dean replies.

 

“I think one of them peed on me,” Cas says.

 

Dean looks toward the considerable wet spot. “’m going back to sleep,” he answers.


End file.
